January 22, 2011

Live in the Moment

I have a bracelet that I wear that says "Live in the Moment". I wear this to remind myself to stop and smell the roses and just BE where ever I am at the moment in both body and spirit. I won't speak for all parents but I suspect that there are some of us who struggle with this on occasion. I certainly do.

This week has been tough as O has been sick. Viral croup sick. Have to stay home from school sick. And because my husband, S, has been been away from home most of this week on business and because I don't want to circulate this disease-of-the-week with the baby sitter's family I had to stay home from work to take care of O. (That was said very matter-of-fact... no whining involved.)

I didn't mind taking care of O but I had a big week of work planned. (You are correct if you sense a slight soupcon of whining in that last part.) There is no question that HOME trumps WORK any and every time but I really had a lot of stuff to do at work this week. Plus I was filling in for my boss who is away recovering from surgery. Not the ideal time to be away from work. But there it is- me at home thinking about what I could have been doing at work. That is definitely NOT living in the moment.

I am supremely grateful for my family and my job but I do struggle with the Work/Home balance. The Proud Parent battles daily with the Ambitious Engineer. I think I am better parent because I work and because it likely prevents me from diving head first into being Ultra Controling Helecopter Parent*. Yes, I know I am controling anyways. I meant I am LESS controlling to my family by working.

S keeps telling me that we will really miss the kids being this age. We will miss the funny things they say and do and the way they interact with each other and with us. We will miss dinner time and he assures me that one day I will wax poetic about the amount of flatulence involved in our daily evening meal. I know he is correct (although not about the flatulence- am I seriously the only person who doesn't find farting funny?!) but I am equally certain I will NOT miss having sick children every 3-5 weeks.

I am still very much a work-in-progress on the whole Living in the Moment thing. O is better and will be going back to school next week. (Yeah!) So far none of the other kids are sick. S is back at home. Life is good.

This weekend I will so totally NOT be thinking about how cool it would be to be here. I'll be busy Living in the Moment. My bracelet says so.

*To be very clear this statement was not a general statement- I meant it to apply to me only. It was NOT meant as an insult to stay-at-home parents.

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